Today I started pretty badly, lately I have been feeling a bit more insecure towards Shino. I dont know why exactly, There are different things that trigger it sometimes. Her going to nyc is one of those things. The last time we were appart for a long time i did not fare so well haha. So it started pretty badly but then I started listening to these memoires my great grandfather made before his death. They are so incredibly funny and moving it is truly crazy so then I was feeling a lot better ( in awe of life ). Afterwards I went to a coffee place of which I suspect the owner to be a zionist (I only remembered someone told me after I left). I worked there, wrote a text about a history piece and also to Vale for our show. Afterwards I went home feeling better, a bit later I also talked with shino about it and now things are more ok, but I know i will not always be able to control my thoughts and paranoia.