This video is beautiful, on the left a scene from the movie ‘stalingrad cowboys go America’ but because my pc is so bad it lags really hard when i try to screenreecord. And on the right a centipede i filmed with an instagram filter that sets things on fire. It captures a feeling I have been feeling often in the past days.

Today I cleaned my room very toroughly. It took al morning up until lunch. After lunch I worked a bit, did a workout, showered and got ready to meet with Flore. Before I had a short call with Laura, she is doing well, that makes me happy. With flore I walked for a long time, we had a coffee and some of the best pizza ever. In the beginning I was feeling really dissociated but as the evening progressed I got more and more into it, she has such a good and human energy. It really is good for me to be around her in this time. She is a counterweight to shino’s energy or absence in a way? I dont know but hanging out with her makes me happy with what I have in this moment. Calling or texting shino makes me a bit anxious about what I dont have sometimes. But that is in no way her fault (just for the record). I also heard Saartje (my sister) call my parents. She is going to break things off with her boyfriend. She is really suffering. I will go see her later this week.