Today I meditated again, it is good to do it often. After that I went to a coffeebar and drank a flat white and took care of my calender and texted people I should have texted a while ago. I felt like I was up to date with my own life again. I watched mob psycho 100 while eating after that and went swimming after that. Swimming is also so nice. After that I finally finished the first pixeplainting fabric frame. We ate with Zeger and talked for a looong time. At one point I got a bit frustrated when trying to explain a feeling i have regarding my future. A kind of aversion to the standard model family and wanting to live in a ‘fuller’ or ‘freer’ sense. I don’t know what this would mean in practice but shino was really pressing me on this and I felt Zeger was also not understanding me in the beginning. It is defenitely a theme between shino an me that will come back. About having kids and shit. I don’t know what I will want later but i do know that I wont have kids in 5 years. In any case we dont have to know anything now luckily. I love shino and she loves me.