A little sculpture I realised with my colleagues Moshtaq and Sam on the job yesterday. In the background you see my friend Moshtaq Sherzad.

Today I spent all morning preparing to go to Rotterdam again, also mentally preparing to approach Shino in a different way then the past week. In the past week I had a lot of expectations from her that I realised were actually my own responsibility. While missing her in the past time, I started to project the unhappiness about my own life on the moment of seeing her again as an expectation that she would make me happier. When she was back I was very uneasy, I felt that she was not able or willing to meet my (unreasonable) expectations/hopes. It is a painful thing to realise, but with it comes the awareness that I have to find hapiness with myself first, not expect shino to give it to me. And also that I should STOP COMPARING with an imaginary image of how exciting her or others’ life are. My bus was delayed a lot so I stood in the cold for a long time. After arriving I worked a bit before Shino and Hiroki showed up. Shino and me visitied a room that I can maybe rent later in 2025. After that we ate (Oishi :)) and we went to have a drink with some people from Ghent. It was a fun crowd, after that we moved to a place called ‘the art factory’ (ridiculous) where tequila and mezcal were free for the evening. We drank a bit, danced a bit and got to talking to a super funny and nice lady. It was a nice evening that dragged me out of my own thoughts a bit, which is necessary to be honest. I think the winter and lack of sun is also playing a role.